This year I completed forty eight years of my life and was the first one to wish myself a very happy and positive year ahead. After surviving many years of emotional violence, I believe that happiness is my own state of mind and I am my own master. No one in this world has the right to hurt me till the time I allow that person to do so. Right now I feel blessed that I have finally rediscovered my biggest strength, my Positivity and will to survive all odds and unabashedly I claim that I love myself.
The House Wife Syndrome
For the last twenty four years I had been a victim of “The House Wife Syndrome”. The lost enthusiasm, weight gain, neglecting health issues, over involvement with the family, compromise with free will and individual thinking and above all living in self- denial, are the common symptoms of this syndrome. Till some time back I was an ambitious girl who somewhere down the road lost the fire to do something big with life and was struggling with saving relationships. After marriage I was a loser with massive physical as well as emotional weight to carry around. There were wrong decisions to repent and missed opportunities to rue for. In short life was miserable dependent upon pills, anti-depressants, inhalers and tears.
Dump Emotional Weight To Lose Physical Weight
I wanted to lose physical weight but clinging on to the emotional one was a big hindrance. I wasn’t realizing that by not letting my strong negative emotions go I was harming my own emotional health. I was obese at 98 kg on the scale yet for me it was okay to be fat, “Oh! Come on I am not a teenager but a mom of two teenagers.” Now that is another symptom of “The House Wife Syndrome”. I was a typical case of “an ambitious woman depressed due to circumstances, living in self-denial”.
I was obese and exhausted, snappy, irritated and cranky all the time, and then one night while I wasn’t able to sleep due to a mild asthma attack, I finally made up my mind to keep negativity aside and stop taking revenge on others. I realized that it was my life which had to be sorted out not of others who I was troubled by.
The Moment Of Reckoning
That was the time when I realized that I needed to rebel but not against others but my own self, my way of thinking. That was the day in October 2011, when after years altogether I went for a walk and started my new diet regimen in January 2012. It took me just first two weeks to lose first ten kilos and by July 2013 I was back to 67 kilos.
It took me almost two years to reach back to 67kg from 98kg. The journey was exciting and helped me recover from my low self- esteem. My brisk walks made me ponder over my lost wisdom, peace and made me disciplined. There were many weight loss stalls which disturbed me but never ever made me feel like giving up. The only reason being that I was loving and admiring myself all the more for my courage and will power to succeed. I had emerged as a fighter and survivor in my own eyes. I was a winner who wasn’t afraid to keep moving despite all odds. Whenever the scales weren’t moving I was thinking of new strategies to make it work but never give up.
The Inner Fight to Dream On
My weight loss journey made me understand that the key to my happiness was rediscovering my strengths and work on my weaknesses. I fought against my lethargy and ‘The House Wife Syndrome” on a daily basis. I changed my eating habits, food choices and cooked healthy recipes for myself. I hated exercising but now I walk and jog minimum 10 to 11 kilo-meters daily. I fight with myself to ignore what I must to keep my inner peace intact. I know that my physical and emotional health are of utmost importance and exercise is the only thing that can help me.
It takes courage and a rebel in you to change your life. I dream of going on long treks in the Himalayas all alone at the age of 60. I dream of motivating 40+ women to reinvent themselves. My weight loss journey has taught me that if I decide to do something, I can do it. Nothing is impossible at any age and life is so beautiful that it is criminal to smother it with high doses of steroids and anti-depressants. My life has taught me to accept bitter realities of life and move on with grace towards your desired goals. Shake up the rebel in you to fight yourself not others.